Harnessing Sexual and Creative Energy
Our culture is obsessed with sex. It's in our advertising, movies, fashion...hell, we refer to our cars, boats and other big toys as "she." Our sexual energy is constantly stimulated throughout the day. On the other hand, our sexuality is a secret and often censored thing. As much as it's stoked in our daily interactions, we are forbidden to embrace it publicly, if at all. It isn't surprising many people feel frustrated, not just sexually, but on an even more basic level. We may not know exactly what it is, but there is a nagging itch we can't seem to locate. It makes our skin crawl, our minds swim; we're in a static state of anticipation.
Think back to school, think back to project deadlines and assignments that made you procrastinate in ways that made your inner 50's housewife weep sweet tears of joy. Remember suddenly feeling commanded to scrub the tile grout because, hey, cleanliness is next to Godliness and that history paper can wait. But let's get real for minute. How many times did procrastination lead to a little self (or partnered, lucky you) love, a nap, and then an utter inability to follow through with your original task? Try to travel back to a time you felt really pressed to accomplish a goal only to squeeze that clock a little more by retiring for a few more minutes of bliss. Or perhaps you scored a promotion or made a pan for a new workout routine or set goals for a new project. Did you feel aroused? The tension can become unbearable and we find ourselves at a crossroads.
When you feel that familiar pressure rising in your groin and belly, bring awareness to the options set before you.
1. Have sex.
You can use this encounter to reenergize, revitalize, strengthen your connection to yourself or your partner, and get a delicious does of dopamine. You may consider practicing recirculating that energy back into yourself and expanding it into your entire body. This can nourish your physical and emotional outlook for hours, days, even weeks after your experience. Kim Anami, a noted sex and relationship coach, speaks more on this here. Excerpt below.
"Most sexual encounters follow a similar trajectory: there is an ascension, we reach a peak of pleasure at orgasm and this is followed by intense pelvic contractions and a burst of ecstasy. Then we see an energetic descent.
What if there didn’t have to be a decline?
You can tap into that cycle and draw that energy back in for yourself.
You do this through breathing.
That four-count inhale, four-count exhale (or longer) Vinyasa flow breath will serve you well here.
As we see in yoga, breath carries energy. We could even say that one of the main points of yoga is the movement of energy; releasing and clearing stagnant energy and bringing awareness to unconscious areas in our physical and emotional bodies. The poses are simply vehicles for this process.
The same applies in sex. By ensuring we breathe steadily throughout the sexual encounter, we redistribute our sexual energy throughout our bodies. This energy is even stronger and denser than regular chi or prana. In fact, the Taoists had a separate name for it: 'ji.'"
2. Create something.
This isn't just for you artsy types. Creation can mean a lot of things. It could mean committing to a new project, taking a new position, setting a goal, baking a delicious treat that you'll then share with me...Think expansive energy. Think growth. You may want to take a couple breaths and visualize light rising from your pelvis, up and out into your intended project. This can be enough of a disruption to refocus all that energy.
You may wish to combine these efforts. Go crazy on yourself or a partner, then get to work! But I would suggest that if you're feeling revved up for a stretch of time, try meditating on what your mind, body, spirit (all three) might be telling you to pursue. There just may be a genius idea stuck in there somewhere, trying to get out.
Mentioned in this post:
The 4-Hour Orgasm By Kim Anami